We are almost there...the end of the road. This is what I've been working towards for the past three years, or really my entire life as far back as I can remember. And I'm scared. I'm nervous. And I'm oddly almost in "mourning" for this all to end, for the AVM to be gone. Honestly, I can't really wrap my head around any of it.
The surgery will be 12+ hours at Porter Hospital just down the street from Swedish. I'm a little bit bummed that I won't be at "MY" hospital but it really wouldn't have been the same anyways. It wouldn't have been my standard 3rd floor pre/post op area or the usual crew. Not even the same procedure room as this will be in an OR, not radiology. So onto a new place, new people, and a new experience. And I'm totally a creature of habit and comfortable in my routine. Josh will be with me, and his Dad will spend a few days with us to support Josh during my surgery. I will be in the hospital for up to 36 hours, spend the rest of the week in Denver recouping and then head home for a week off work. After that, apparently I'll be good to go! Hard to believe as it all seems so destructive.
So the plan is to remove the coils, remove most of the AVM that is left outside my jaw which is fairly close to the skin. Remove skin that needs to go due to the superficial AVM branches which really are clearly visible with the naked eye. There will be AVM left "inside" the jaw area which Dr. Yakes will treat with a few more embos a little later down the road. And that's the plan. Simple as can be, right?
So there it is. The end of the road is in sight and I know I'll make it to the finish line. I have to constantly resist my desire to just park the car and stop everything right here. But I can't do it as much as I want to. I've come too far and dedicated myself to this journey from that first trip to Denver nearly 3 years ago. This IS what I have been wanting and I have to just keep my chin held high, continue to be my own best advocate, continue to look at the big picture and not just this moment in time, and to really reach for that word "CURE" which is waiting for me across the finish line.